Are You Realistic About What A Real Relationship Is About?


realAre you realistic about what a real relationship is about? You probably don’t know the answer so let me help you.

A relationship isn’t supposed to be a nice breeze but why do many people think so? Nothing in life is supposed to be a walk in a park. And Allah made life this way so that we can achieve great things and see the rewards throughout our accomplishments and trials. And everybody needs to understand that.

There is also a reason why many conservative Muslims don’t like to watch TV, listen to Music, and/or pay close attention to the media. You know why? Because it gives you unrealistic hopes. You were probably thinking because they’re the haram police. It could why but it’s not the only reason.

Now, if the following apply to you then you have a problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a hopeless romantic but I try to keep my feet on the ground even though I enjoy some of the following in my down time to escape reality. Key words here ‘escape reality’ in case you missed it *wink*. So here we go :

Wrong! There is a reason it’s a movie; it’s fiction. It’s not real! Don’t get your hopes up when you watch them hoping your man or your woman will do the same with the puppy love, the flowers, the travels, the fancy proposals, the loving texts, the etc. and etc. that make such movies romantic in our eyes. We all need to understand that every relationship is different and that what movies make seem as the standard is not the norm.

Your spouse or fiance can love you but they don’t have to be all mushy or money about it. Romance is much more than the media hype. It’s accepting and working with the good and the bad your spouses make you live on the daily basis. Not the snapshots of happily ever after. I have actually wanted to write a book titled What Happens After Happily Ever After for a long time now but I realized that I already have with most of my romance books because the characters live real life scenarios in a marriage setting. Some have a penchant for popular culture and that’s why they are in my fantasy world.

Music is not good for us because it makes us vulnerable and an easy target for emotions (sad, happy, in-between, you name it.) And what unseen creatures love to target our emotions? The djinns. That’s right, djinns love music and that’s another reason why I try to stay away from music these days. It’s not the fear of hot lead pouring in my ears in the next life BUT the fear of being worn by these evil things that makes me contemplate that tainted love from far. May Allah helps us all, amiin.

Movies have soundtracks and after it’s over, don’t let that invisible soundtrack follow you around. Be realistic, life is much more noisier than that. Come back on earth and carry on with your normal daily activities.

You don’t know what these people do or how they really behave behind closed doors. I can guarantee that they receive so much evil eye (intentional and unintentional) and that’s the reason there are always tabloids about them or interesting rumors. Don’t envy the smokescreens. Pray for a good relationship with yourself, your Creator, your family, your spouse, keep to yourself and don’t advertise your relationship on social media because Satan loves to break up the man from the woman. Open your eyes, be realistic, and lower your expectations. Really lower your expectations because simple is always rewarding and fulfilling.  I know because I live by that code alhamdullilah. Remember, if something is too good to be true, it probably is!



About Papatia

Papatia Feauxzar is an Author and Muslim Publisher who holds a Master's degree in Accounting with a concentration in Personal Finance. You can visit her website at or her sister's website
This entry was posted in Hayati, Marriage, Romance, Sunnah, women and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Are You Realistic About What A Real Relationship Is About?

  1. Wait, so my future marriage can’t be as passionate as Gosling and McAdams in ‘The Notebook’? That’s sad!

    Do you stay away from songs like Disney songs and musical songs too? Or just like what people refer to as “music” (pop songs, rap songs, hip hop, etc.)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Papatia says:

      Maybe for a split second or a few weeks, a marriage can be eternal bliss like the Notebook 😉 haha! If nothing goes wrong, I guarantee that at some point you will feel like wanting to mess things up so that you can feel something thrilling lol. It’s in our nature to be bored with ‘same-ness’ 😉 and need to restore a balanced life. I also try to avoid any type of music these days but sometimes I can’t avoid it if it’s playing on the intercom at the grocery store. I never turn on my radio in my car. And we just mute the TV when a song is on… lol! Disney songs… especially ‘Let it go’ are hard to get out of your head! They are so catchy…So, I try my best not to get a whiff of it haha! I’m a visual person so I can watch anything without hearing any music hehe. Now, I love nasheeds without any instruments!


      • Ah, I see. I wonder if most marriages are like ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ now, lol!

        And cool, I do listen to songs, but mostly songs from movies: Disney, musical film songs, Indian film songs. I don’t really listen to general music like what people have on their IPods or listen to on the radio or performed at the Grammys or something like that.


      • Papatia says:

        Heh, not like 50 shades but most or almost all marriages are challenging. Btw, I know many some Muslims that fancy BDSM. Some scholars even argue that as long as it’s not sodomy there is no evidence of it being not allowed. My main issue with it ‘kneeling’. Anyways, I would stop derailing here lol!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Lol, yeah I don’t really have any BDSM desires, but I’m not against it either. Basically I’ll try anything sexual with my wife at least once if she wants to 😛 !

        Liked by 1 person

      • Papatia says:

        Hehe awesome! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Chelsea says:

    Yes exactly right. It’s good to have romance and high hopes for marriage but we also have to be realistic about what it really takes to keep a marriage going. It’s a beautiful thing but it’s definitely not like in the movies!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Are You Realistic About What A Real Relationship Is About? — Between Sisters, SVP! – The Rose's Pen

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