My Little Princess or Little Man in sha Allah

Isn’t this little girl precious masha’Allah? 🙂 Today, let’s blog about kids!

I do not have a child yet but I am preparing myself to it. With the help of the book titled The Ideal Muslimah, I am hopeful that I will do just fine :). And don’t we know they don’t come with “instructions” ;)? When I have a child in sha Allah, here is my plan because education starts at home. Teachers just complement what we, parents, instill in our children as values and virtues. First, I plan to bring them up the right way. Terrorizing children does not help in any way. You have to show them respect, love, and trust. As they develop these characters, they learn to respect you not out of fear but out of consideration and respect. I used to be a child so I know the difference.

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The next parenting tip I learned is to show your affection and love to them. Kiss them and play with them. When you show affection to children, they return the favor kindly. The prophet (saw) said that he who does not not show mercy will not get any in return. We will should be ready to make any sacrifices for them. If it comes to the point that I have to quit to raise my child, I will gladly do it. Allah is my witness.

Thirdly, I will treat  them fairly and equally if I have several children. My little man would be raised like a King 🙂 in sha Allah and my baby girl will be a princess in the making. Put your kids on a pedestal, and they will grow to do amazing things. I learned this from my parents.

Fourthly, I will aim not to curse them when I am mad. Not praying against one’s own children is wise because if history has taught us something about us women is that we tend to be impulsive. We always regret our bad actions later when we regain our senses. My experience with this advice is that I have hoped to be right on an argument with a family member. And when I was right but I felt sad because they were miserable after the fact. It was like I prayed to be right, and I hated myself over it for being right. Now, I try not to wish that for anyone. When I see someone do something wrong, I give my opinion on it, and I pray that nothing bad happens to them. Furthermore, two words of fiction movie reference: Blue Jasmine.

Five, I will aim to be aware of everything in their life. Having said that, I am not planning on being overbearing. There is fine line between the two. I have seen some overbearing parents who just dug their graves with trying to raise their children, only to realize that the child was being smothered by them. I will make sure that they can talk to me about anything, I mean anything. Being a friend to your daughter or son helps them open up to you as a book.

The scripture says that for the first seven years of a child’s life, play with the child. In the next seven years, teach them, and in the last seven years (by 21 years), be a friend.

After that, a parent has done his or her part in raising the child. It is now up to the child to choose the right path and the make the correct decision.

Six, I will endeavor to make them exhibit good behavior. An ugly attitude will not be tolerated. Cute sassy may be ;). “..being gentle but not lenient and being strict without being harsh.” Dr. Muhammad Ali al-Hashimi.

You may be wondering why I do not have a child yet. I am a corporate employee. And we know how the corporate world is. It is stressful. On top of that, I am still a student. I am taking a full load every semester. I just finished the Summer semester with four classes. It was unheard of. I am working on my Master of Sciences in Accounting. In sha Allah (God willing), by December this degree will be mine. I am taking five classes this Fall Semester. How smart of me? It is definitely a lot of reading, assignments, papers, and research to accomplish. Challenge? Of course it is. I don’t even remember the last time, I did not have a full plate in the last ten years I have lived in the USA.

I try not to neglect my husband and my home at the same time. I study at work when I am facing a down time or early in the morning on weekends. It would not be fair to not see each other all day and to come home and be busy all night working and studying and not spend time together. I digress! The Muslimah and her home will be a topic I will blog about soon.

Anyways, my plan seems very cookie cut-clean. I bet raising a child is a lot more than most people anticipate. What are your parenting tips? 🙂 .

Any unplanned shocks? Once again, I am not perfect. “I don’t know what I don’t know,” I am only human and striving to do better. With a lot of mistakes comes wisdom and experience. #work-in-progress woman.

Papatia Feauxzar

Author of “Between Sisters, SVP”