Marriage: Half of My Deen

“…be a servant to him, and he will become a servant to you…” Umamah bint al-Harith

Birtanem

This picture is so cute masha’Allah! Another reason I love it, is because it depicts my husband and I perfectly ;).

A great Muslimah chooses a good husband and vice-versa; for pure women are for pure men.

She is obedient and respectful to him. He also respects her in return.

She is lovely to her husband and eager to please him.

She does not disclose his secrets. Mentioning one’s husband in a convo and telling his secrets are two different things.

She counsels him when he needs him, she is always by his side and is his rock as he is her rock.

shoes

She has a good influence on him by encouraging him to work in the service of Allah. Help him pray on time and become more charitable. My husband and I actually constantly remind each other about praying and Sadaqah. If I see that he has lost track of time while being busy on an activity, I inquire politely if he has prayed. He does the same thing for me when I fall asleep and that I may miss the praying time.

She makes her husband happy. Happiness amongst other things is a veneer of a long-lasting marriage. According to the scripture, a good wife, a good home, and a good means of transport makes a man happy. By the same token, a bad wife, a bad home, and a bad means of transport make him unhappy. I am the queen of giggling and silliness. My ‘goofiness’ radiates on him. He is also a master of sweets. We compliment each other.

She beautifies herself for her companion and does not look or lust at other men. I try not to look busy with my attire when we go out together. With that being said, I try to always look appealing to him inside and outside our home.

She does not in any circumstances antagonize him. His home should be a peaceful place he should come to after a long day of work, a trip, you name it. Of course we have arguments because that is what normal couples do but I do not intentionally go look for it. It is quite normal to not see eye-to-eye every now and then.

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” Surah 30:21

She does not hold grudges against her other half. She respects his family. My in-laws are wonderful. I respect them, and they kindly return the favor masha’Allah. A good relationship does not happen with magic. It takes time, effort, and work. I certainly worked hard to earn their respect, love, and prayers.

She is forgiving and strong of character. There is a difference between being rude and strong of character. When we have an argument, I get my point across without being disrespectful. Our prophet (Peace be upon him) and his wives used to have plenty of intellectual discussions, arguments too. They did not have to agree with him all the time.

She does not speak in vain. I tend to stay clear of office gossip. For that reason, I am seen as a very shy person. Having said that, I am very talkative but refrain myself to talk unnecessarily.

Above all, she is wise and prays her five daily prayers. Performing all these is what makes a spouse accomplishing half of her Deen (religion).

After you read this, you may think that we are the perfect couple. There is no such thing as perfect in today’s time. Our prophet (Peace be upon him) was perfect. We, his ummah, attempt to come close to perfectness :). We have our ups and downs but we deal it as there are tests to our faith, religion, and relationship with each other.

I hope you enjoyed my thoughts! Share yours! Ask me questions! Let’s discuss 🙂 in sha Allah.

Papatia Feauxzar

Author of “Between Sisters, SVP

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About Papatia

Papatia Feauxzar is an Author who holds a Master degree in Accounting with a concentration in Personal Finance. She now works from home alhamdullilah. You can visit her website at www.djarabikitabs.com
This entry was posted in Islam, Knowledge, Muslimah, Sunnah, women and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Marriage: Half of My Deen

  1. joymanifest says:

    Love it, MashaAllah! Allah bless you and your husband. And thanks for visiting and commenting on my blog – it brought me to yours! 🙂

    Like

  2. Fatmawaty says:

    masha’Allah, lovely post, Sister!. I use it as my reference on my blog….I’m still writing it. Shukron

    Like

  3. Pingback: AJMAL FARHA [ THE GREAT HAPPINESS ] | ishlah

  4. As a Muslim feminist, I find it utterly hilarious and amusing to see this ” OBLIGATORY TO DO LIST” Muslim women have to do as wives and the mighty men husbands might respond the same way.
    Does also forgiving trait have to be applied by Muslim women when we are abused, violated and humiliated by our husbands or we carry on being good Muslimahs as stated here.
    For some cultures, we might look no better then slaves… Women do all and Men sitting idle where as it should be the other way around. But Muslim men are hardly gentlemen who would take the first steps with their women and wives, always expecting demanding even highlighting religious scripts. Sad state of affairs.

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    • Papatia says:

      Lol! I admire your feminist call. I want to believe I am one, too. Anyways, I love this passage from the Ideal Muslimah book, “The Muslim woman should never think that she is the only one who is required to be a good and caring companion to her spouse, and that nothing similar is required of her husband or that there is nothing wrong with him mistreating her or failing to fulfill some of the responsibilities of marriage. Islam has regulated the marital relationship by giving each partner both rights and duties. The wife’s duties of honoring and taking care of her husband are balanced by the rights that she has over him, which are that he should protect her honor and dignity from all kinds of mockery, humiliation, trials or oppression. These rights of the wife comprise the husband’s duties towards her: he is obliged to honor them and fulfill them as completely as possible.” Dr. Muhammad Ali al-Hashimi in The Ideal Muslimah. This said, it’s a vicious cycle when hubby and wifey go on disrespecting each other. Someone has to be the bigger person and stop the disrepect and domestic violence diplomatically. We have equal right and no party should take advantage of the other but the reality is different and people need to make lemonade out of lemons and not accept their fate…:)

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      • Yes yes you are the graceful Muslim feminist while am the fiery one! LOL!
        Thanks for making all the valid points, I have taken them into consideration for sure 🙂
        And sometimes I do think that the bigger person as a candidate to initiate diplomacy towards domestic harmony are men because they are governed by logic, rationality more in compassion to us that have a combination of emotion and logic. Shhhhsh.. some feminists might wanna kill me for saying this, but nature has made men and women this way and I am not the typical feminists to say am totally 100% same as a man – reality check biology is constant. Thanks again!!!!!

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      • Papatia says:

        Haha! Masha’Allah :), great reply! We learn from each and I also had good insights from you. Houb salam and Ramadhan Mubarak.

        Like

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